Is Lauryn Hill On the Pipe?

I hope so, because that's the only way I'm gonna give her a pass for this one. Yes folks, Ms. Hill is back, but not with the brilliant album we've all awaited these past ten years. No, she's back with a song on the soundtrack to the animated film Surf's Up.

Lauryn Hill - "Lose Myself"

Damn. I knew this bitch was crazy, but DAMN. It is truly hard to believe that the raggedy-voiced chick singing over this Will.i.am. knock-off track is the same woman responsible for masterpieces like The Score and Miseducation. I thought 'Clef fell off, but I'd bump his Ying Yang collaboration any day over this bullshit.

Maybe Lauryn just likes penguins. Then again, maybe she is certifiably insane and lives only to torment fans with false promises of comeback albums and Fugees reunions. Either way, this is one of the most depressingly unlistenable pieces of music I've heard in a minute. Somewhere, Pras is turning in his grave.

Fuck T.I., it's T.I.P. all day!!!

I feel T.I. on the dual personality shit cuz I go thru the same type of shit (Lawrence vs. LC, anybody who knows me knows the deal), but rightfully so, one of those personalities is gonna be the man and the other is kind of a bitch, for lack of better phrasin'. With that bein' said, throughout T.I.'s career, all of his songs have been kinda gay while T.I.P. has always held it down, which is y albums like I'm Serious and Trap Muzik were the shit (T.I.P. nigga), while certain parts of Urban Legend and King were 'flush down the toilet' type of shit (it's all ur fault T.I.).

From the sampler of his new album T.I. vs. T.I.P. that I've heard, the same story applies. When left to T.I., he makes music that he thinks ppl wanna listen to (WRONG NIGGA!!), while T.I.P. makes dat dope boy music dat got him his real acclaim in the first place.

T.I.P. should take a tip from Fight Club, maybe if he puts a gun 2 his head and shoot himself, maybe T.I. will die. Good riddens nigga...

Beanie Sigel is more 'Mo Than Kanye and Pharrell

Last week my associate Hook posted a clip of Beanie Sigel raggin' on Kanye and Pharrell 4 the clothes they be wearin', basically callin' them gay becuz they ain't out there in 9x shirts and shorts so long that they look like fuckin' capri pants. Beanie claimed that ppl in the hood don't wear that and they shouldn't look up 2 these dudes. Now first off, Kanye and Pharrell never said they were speakin' 4 the hood, so how u fault dem 4 that. Secondly, u a different type of rapper then dem, so what's cool 2 u may not be cool 2 dem. Now I don't agree wit all da shit they wear, cuz when Kanye wuz on some red carpet wit his chest hairs stickin' out I wuz thoroughly disturbed, but hey that's his decision (also, Kanye, grown men wit big Louis bags is kinda gay, they look like purses).

Now for all the talk of who's gay and who's not, here's an old ass clip of a Peedi Crakk freestyle that showcases Beanie doin' some overly gay mannerisms around Peedi. After watchin' this, it begs the question, is Beanie gettin' on the dudes (no pun intended), cuz he secretly likes men??

By the way, I'm still lookin' 4ward 2 his album... The Becoming wuz the shit...

Hook's Original Blog
Beanie Gay?

The Evil Genius

R.Kelly's new album is coming out in 3 days. Prepare Yourself.

All I have been waiting for is T.I. vs. T.I.P. to come out b/c it's going to be a classic, but momentarily, it is going to have to take a backseat to Double Up, another classic installment in the Pied Piper's extensive discography.

So, R. Kelly is the classic example of separating the man from the music. You have to. He knows that he is rediculous. We know he's rediculous. That's the fun of it all. He knows he can sing absolutely anything and not only will it sell, but it will sound great and be oh-so catchy.

Between the gazillion remixes he has been on in the past 6 months (and killed each one, by the way), and his own "I'm a Flirt (Remix)", I can't wait for Tuesday.

Luckily for myself and all the other music fiends out there, the album leaked 4 days ago. I have only 1 song, and let me just say I'm floored.

Title: "Sex Planet"

Description: A 5:35 minute opus using every possible metaphor connecting space and sex. (Think Ignition, but better-- there are so many more things in space than a vehicle)

Sample Lyric:
"Girl I promise this will be painless, painless/
We'll take a trip to planet Uranus, anus"

You have to hear it to believe it. I'm laughing outloud just writing that down.

Here. Listen to it right now. (Props to Idolator.com for the leak)

"Sex Planet"

3 Days.

The best and worst producer-rappers of all time (part 1 of 3)

Young hooks's article about his abhorrence of Kanye's rapping got me thinking about producer-rappers. I'm not the hugest Kanye fan but he's a great producer and I'd even say I can respect him as a rapper, especially among the handful of other garbage MC's, like MIMS, that are constantly being flushed through the mainstream.

But Kanye's accomplishments are even more impressive if we consider what it entails to be, as Dre said in "Gin & Juice": "a producer who can rap and control the maestro at the same time." From a business standpoint, producer-rappers occupy the ultimate position of artist autonomy in hip-hop, and perhaps in music in general. That explains why often producer-rappers are also entrepreneurial company heads, like Master P and P Diddy. Hip-hop players like them control the output of the product from beginning to end, from market potential to song design to song creation, and ultimately to marketing the song en masse. They also get full royalty payments--copyrights belong half to the 'writer' and half to the 'producer,' meaning that a producer-rapper reaps in all the cash.

So in general a producer-rapper avoids getting done in by major labels. He also streamlines the creative process of music, avoiding the power struggle that can emerge between the lyricist and the musical mind, which arises especially as a duo becomes more popular (Dr. Dre/Eazy-E during NWA is a prime example). In essence there is no room for "creative differences" that so commonly extinguish groups before they reach their full potential.

And lastly, we have to recognize the tremendous amount of talent that producer-rappers possess. They are the singer/songwriters of rap, having the ability to both compose music and complement it with a display of lyrical mastery. Think about it. Most people can't rap. Of those who can, most rappers can't rap well. And even people who rap well oftentimes don't reach our ears because they, for some reason or another, can't penetrate the industry. When they do, how many of them can produce as well?

Conversely, making quality beats is extremely difficult, requiring intensive knowledge of music theory, hip-hop, other genres (for samples/pastiche), and technology. Few producers have time, energy, or talent for perfecting their writing and rapping skills. Most producers stick to the music because good production is in such short supply, whereas all you need is vocal chords and familiarity with a language to be a rapper (also, alcohol and weed help).

So, even if a rapper's beats can get sloppy or a producer's rapping can be subpar at times, we have to respect producer-rappers. They control their careers and artistic process more than most artists, and display immense talent and/or market savvy.

I was originally gonna list out the best and worst producer-rappers in this article, but it looks like I had a lot to say introducing the subject. So part 2 will be the Best; part 3 the Worst. You can all help me now in listing out all the producer-rappers. I brainstormed the ones I could think of, which are below. But I don't wanna forget someone and look like an idiot. So let me have 'em!

Producers who can rap and control the maestro:
Dr. Dre, DJ Quik, Daz Dillinger, J-ZONE, J-Live, El-P, Lil' Jon, Eminem, Benzino, MF DOOM, Madlib, Jermaine Dupri, P Diddy, Devin the Dude(?), Jaz-O (?), Timbaland, Havoc of Mobb Deep

Def Jam About To Go Broke!!

In the last few years, with the sales of most major hip hop related projects dyin' down, u can tell that record companies r losin' faith in their artists with the low budget videos bein' filmed, the almost zero real promotion goin' in these projects and the number of one hit wonders as opposed to long lastin' artists. With that bein' said, I was lookin' at the supposed track listin' for Fabolous' new album From Nothin' To Somethin', and I was thinkin' 2 myself, this has to be the most expensive fuckin' album I've ever seen put together. Now that means one of 2 things, either Def Jam (i.e. LA Reid 'cause Jigga don't really do nuttin' over there), has completely lost its damn mind, or they really think that Fab can move those kind of units 2 make up for that fact that if this album came out in the last 2, 3 years, they go broke. I mean shit, with all that damn personnel, I expect to see so many Fab posters around that I can't a shit in my own house with hearin' about him, but nope, I haven't got that feelin'. Just one mediocre, customary song for the ladies, "Make Me Better", another mediocre, customary song about ice, "Diamonds" (brilliantly titled, sike), and another mediocre, customary song about hustlin, "Return Of The Hustle" (fuck it, I like that song). I mean, Def Jam better say a lot of Hail Mary's for that album 2 sell...

Track Listing
"Make Me Better"
"Diamonds"
"Return Of The Hustle"

Best Child Rapper Ever

When we think young adolescent rappers who are the first that come to mind? for many its probably Bow Wow and little Romeo. For me it's Shyheim and Shyheim again in that order. Yea Bow Wow made hits like"Ghetto Girls", but Shyheim made Hip Hop classics that will live on for true heads forever. For all you closet Bow Wow fans out there be clear! "Bow wow: that's my name" is not a classic. In 1994 Shyheim released "Shyheim a.k.a the Rugged Child" and made his splash in the music industry. Being only a youngster myself when I heard his cassette tape...yes that's right CASSETTE TAPE a friends brother had given me I was totally blown away. I remember sitting in my bed at night amazed that a kid could rap like this. "On and On" the albums best song and single earned Shyheim respect from rap fans and industry heavyweights alike. I mean dude was put on by Ghostface, and on every track he ever spit on whether it was with Wu-Tang, or Big Daddy Kane he held his own. He released this album at around 14, and his soft prepubescent voice spewed out lyrical gems for 15 tracks. Shyheim's voice is what really got you, cuz it made you listen and only further reiterated he point that this kids soul, flow and consciousness were ahead of his time. I'm not gonna give you this guys complete bio and discography. Hopefully I sparked interest enough for you to seek out some of his later underground and mainstream releases. It's always better to stumble upon dope music on your own than have someone lead you to it, at least in my opinion. Anyways if you haven't heard him before I know you've seen him. Old boy has been in a few movies like "The Preachers Wife" and "Original Gangstas", which unfortunately is actually a pretty fair portrayal of what my old mans hometown is like. I'm also pretty sure he was on that TV show the "Parenthood" a few times too. Please check out Shyheim, he's got a lot of good music out there, so seek it out. I doubt you will be disappointed.

Also I know this has nothing to do with rap, but is anyone else hyped that ESPN Classic is showing old American Gladiators episodes? I know I am. Zapp without a doubt till this day is still the largest woman I have ever seen.

M.I.M.S makes me want to commit a hate crime

Yea the title is fairly crude, but after what I said registered in your brain you prolly shook your head in agreement. M.I.M.S pisses me off mainly because he is one of the worst rappers of all time. He says his name stands for Music Is My Saviour. Well if that in fact is the case, that means his life at one point or another was in jeopardy. With the way rappers lie about their pasts today who knows if that's true or not. Whether he lied or not is for me irrelevant to say the least. I still say we all band together, find M.I.M.S, and finish the job someone else couldn't. I'm talking burning stakes, and pitch forks on some salem witch trials type ish. death by stoning is the only appropriate punishment for M.I.M.S, preferably this archaic slaying should be executed with a deadly barrage of his own shitty CD. Then what he once thought was his saviour will actually be his ultimate demise. What can I say I'm a sucker for irony...or in this case perhaps poetic justice.

If I was going to find some place on the internet where I could bootleg music for free, not that I would EVER do this even if such a place did exist, M.I.M.S couldn't pay me to steal his music. Like whoever bootlegged M.I.M.S album before it officially came out, probably felt like someone who stole an ATM only to find that its filled with Monopoly money. I new M.I.M.S was bad before but after hearing his new single, which I don't even respect enough to link to this blog, not only confirmed his suckiness, but magnified it 1,000 times fold. The same flow, almost same beat, with references to the old single using the same already played out flow. I thought Mike Jones style or lack there of was bad, but I don't know who is less talented at this point. There are 5 year old girls whose shadow puppet performances show more skill and creativity.

I LIKE YOU FOR YOUR BEATS. That's it.

Remember when you'd never heard Kanye West rap? You liked his beats on The Blueprint, State Property, Roc La Familia etc., but for all you knew he was just a dope producer, ala Rocafella's other hitmaker Just Blaze.

But then he got greedy. After The College Dropout blew up, it seemed that any Kanye-produced single automatically came with a verse, or at least a chorus, by the man itself. You didn't particularly like Ye's awkward flow and gargantuan arrogance, but you put up with it because, by and large, the beats were hot. Cut to today, and Kanye's appearing on songs and remixes as a rapper, even when he's had nothing to do with making the beats.

Ne-yo — "Strung Out Remix" ft. Kanye West

T-Pain — "Buy You a Drank Remix" ft. Kanye West

Now this just pisses me off. Throughout the years, there's been an unspoken rule that "producers who rap" generally appear only on records they've produced. Sure there have been a few exceptions, but even producers who I consider dope rappers (Large Professor, Diamond D) almost never guest on tracks they haven't cooked up themselves. For instance, you don't hear Pete Rock dropping verses all over other people's beats, because homeboy understands that his strength lies in producing, and that the only reason people tolerate his amateurish raps is 'cause the beats are fire. So what does Kanye not understand?

Apparently he has convinced himself that he's just as much a rapper as a producer, as he's made clear in various interviews and videos. But just because Kanye says it, do we have to believe it? I for one still haven't warmed to his increasingly obnoxious flow, even if he does occasionally have a punchline or two. Let's not forget how many people there are who can competently "rap;" if we gave them all a major deal the hip-hop industry would implode. And what kind of a producer has the gall to think he can just drop a guest verse on a single and call it a remix? I mean for God's sake homey, get off your lazy, Louis Vuitton-wearing ass and remix the beat. You're a producer; that's what you do. Believe me, nobody gives a fuck about your rapping—we just give you a pass if the track knocks. Now please, put down the mic, and try not to fuck up Finding Forever.

Illest Verse of All Time

I was talkin' 2 my nigga P-Bo and we were choppin' it up about how long we been waitin' 4 Pharoahe Monch's new album Desire, and he went on to say that his verse back in like '99 on "Oh No" with Mos Def from the Lyricist Lounge, Vol. 2 album is one of his favorite verses of all time. This got me thinkin', what's the illest verse of all time. Yea, that's some impossible shit to think about, but I'm LC and iller than u, so I can at least try... biznitches. After I started thinkin' about it, so many verses started runnin' thru my head, like the first verse of Jay-Z's "22 Two's", or the 2nd verse from Biggie's "Long Kiss Goodnight", or the whole damn song of Nas' "It Ain't Hard To Tell". I know whatever I choose right now I'm gonna disagree with like 20 seconds later, but I'ma go out on a limb and say that the illest verse of all time is the 6 bar 2nd verse by Big Pun on "Twinz" from his '98 album Capital Punishment. Start debatin' bitches...

Lyrics:
Big Pun "Twinz"
Jay-Z "22 Two's"
Biggie "Long Kiss Goodnight"
Nas "It Ain't Hard To Tell"
Pharoahe Monch "Oh No"