Has R. Kelly Finally Gone Too Far?

I love me some R. Kelly. There's something about his unique combination of undeniable talent and mind-boggling stupidity that just makes me want to toss my panties on stage and scream "I love you, Pied Piper, take me away!" I mean anyone who can somehow elude justice for six years despite having videotaped himself fucking underage girls has gotta command your respect on some level. That, and the man is a musical genius. Nevertheless, R. Kelly can be a fucking idiot, and I'm not just saying this because he can't read. I was finally forced to admit to myself just what an idiot the "'R' in R& B" is a couple of weeks ago, when I heard "The Same Girl," a duet with Usher from Kelly's highly anticipated new album Double Up.

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Now I've put up with—hell, I've enjoyed—some pretty ridiculous R. Kelly concept songs over the years, from the Mr. Biggs "Bitch you cheatin'" joints to the epic "Ghetto Desperate Housewives" that was Trapped in the Closet. I'm not even gonna front; I own that shit on DVD and I know most of it by heart. But for some reason, this latest scenario is just too much for me to take. Call me crazy, but it just seems implausible. I mean how often does it occur that two people, each living in completely different parts of the country, learn through a chance conversation that they are sleeping with the same female, who is somehow gaming them simultaneously despite a distance of thousands of miles? (My math is like R. Kelly's reading comprehension, but it's gotta be at least that much.)

My other issue with the song is that, once Usher realizes he's fucking Robert's girl (which happens within the first minute) there's nothing left for the two singers to do except express their disbelief at the situation for another three minutes. Whereas Trapped kept us on the edge of our seats waiting to see what ludicrous thing would occur next, here there's nothing to keep the listener's interest (except the singing, which is admittedly dope.) We get it, it's the SAME GIRL.

Of course, if it really is the same girl then Ush might wanna get his lawyer on the phone, 'cause there's a good chance that bitch is not even close to eighteen. But I digress. Anyway, I haven't given up on Kells yet. Yeah, this song is pretty disappointing, but our boy still completely dominated the "Let it Rain Remix" (sorry Wayne) and gave Ciara some much-needed singing lessons on the remix to "Promise." And if that preview on MTV's Sucka Free was anything to go by, Double Up is gonna be hot, retarded concepts and all.