So This is His Secret Weapon?

As you may have already heard, 50 Cent has dropped the official first single from his forthcoming album entitled, ahem, Curtis. Mr. Jackson premiered the joint last week on MTV's Sucka Free, and now the full version is floating around the net. Now I should say upfront that I have pretty low expectations for any G-Unit release, but even I am disappointed with this garbage. Fif's new single is called "Amusement Park," but it could just as easily be called "Candy Shop 2," or better yet, "Magic Stick Part 3." Instead of welcoming females to his candy shop, here 50 invites them to his amusement park, taking the opportunity to describe in detail the rides' "up and down" motion. I don't know about you, but I feel nauseous already.

I know Mr. Jackson gets lots of props for his business acumen, but let's be real, Curtis has been fuckin' up lately. With G-Unit in shambles (Banks flopped, the Mobb flopped, Olivia got dropped, Hot Rod and Spider Loc are NEVER coming out), you'd think 50 would come hard as hell this time around, taking it upon himself to prove his label is still a force and as "gorilla" as it used to be. And it seemed like that's what he was gonna do. He stated repeatedly in interviews that he was going back to the grimier style of Get Rich or Die Tryin' (which I never thought was that hot to begin with) and dipping into old soul music for his beats. But then, inexplicably, he changed his album title from "Before I Self-Destruct" (Before, Fif?) to the ridiculous "Curtis," essentially handing the beef to Cam'ron, and instead of dropping a grimy first single hit us with this pussy-ass for-the-ladies shit.

I've been waiting a long time for the G-Unit backlash to occur (karma is a bitch, huh boys?) but I gotta admit I almost feel sorry for old Curtis. Yeah, he'll probably go platinum a couple times, but I have a feeling this album is gonna mark the end of his industry reign of terror. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, you can fool some of the people all of the time, and you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can't keep dropping the same mediocre bullshit over and over and expect people to keep caring. GGGG-UNOT, bitch.